Drop D Metal Guitar Lick

I have had some requests to post some Death Metal guitar breakdowns in Drop D tuning. Now I freely admit I have a limited knowledge of death metal. Listening to some youtube videos showing various guitar breakdowns it sounds  like detuned guitar riffs that use a lot of rhythms with unexpected rests and sometimes odd time signatures. In some of the examples I listened to I could hear a lot of Pantera's influence. I think because Vinnie and Dime were brothers ( and great musicians) they were really locked into each other's playing and really had some strong grooves and powerful rhythmic interactions between the drums and guitars. To me a lot of the breakdowns come alive when they are pared with drum tracks so I would recommend trying to come up with your own against a drum machine or backing track with a good drum groove in it. Anyway here is my first guitar lick trying to emulate this style. It is in Drop D tuning. Be mindful of the rests and use palm muting and staccato playing as indicated. Again no video camera was available for this guitar lick but DM me on twitter @jimifan with your email and I'd be happy to hook you up with the powertab so you have some idea of what it sounds like. Ok so here is the tab: